All I'm left with is 20/20 Hearing

It was already 11:39 in the evening, and oh heaven help me I still didn't have a blog... so I just sat there, drumming my fingers on our battered computer keyboard (guilty as charged) and then I just decided to search for the smallest keyboard on the internet. The idea practically reeked to high heaven, but I just wanted to see what the internet had to offer. Which would be this:



And I was kinda thinking that you had to be a new-born baby just to be able to type quickly into that thing, else connect toothpicks to the tips of your fingernails, which probably wouldn't be very comfortable.

I mean hey, they already have the smallest book, even the smallest optical mouse:



But what I NEVER planned to encounter when I typed "The World's smallest—" and accidentally pressed the enter button without finishing what I was typing was "The world's smallest website."

Apparently, a lot of people are competing for the World's Smallest Website right now, and I thought it rather ridiculous, and—I don't know, maybe stupid? How, I ask you, are people going to enjoy something which they have to see through a magnifying glass just to be able to CLICK? What's the point of buying a huge monitor screen when all you're going to be looking at in the end is a website no bigger than Thumbelina's head??

And true to its word, it really is tiny. I mean, when I clicked the link and was looking all around the screen, waiting for it to load, I just saw this 18 x 18 picture in the middle of the purple background, looking like a squarish chocolate chip in all it's shining glory, and realized that it had already finished loading and that that was the website itself. Dude! I do believe I'm nearsighted enough, no need to make me blind! But I found myself playing Pacman in it anyway. And hey, that ghost is unnaturally fast.



See it? That's Pacman. And apparently, there was only room for one ghost.

However, this really isn't the world's smallest; something else beat guimp.com, but since it was so boring and was definitely winning the gold prize in the Headache Giving Contest, I didn't even bother. Small is cute, I admit, but when it's this small, it's just plain insane.



Check it:
http://www.guimp.com/ (SQUINTING)
http://dot16.pixeltemple.com/ (HEADACHE)

I'm pretty sure that if Mom had been able to see these websites, she wouldn't even bother to get her glasses and just chuck the monitor out of the window with an award-winning battle-cry.

The Grandpappy of all Nosebleeds

I used to keep seeing this on HBO, and back then I really wasn't very interested. All I knew was that it involved a bank, cars, chases, a lot of shouting, hostages, some techy terms I couldn't even comprehend anyway and the usual bad-guy-kidnaps-family-goody-guy-outsmarts-bad-guy-police-comes-at-the-END-of-story gig. Even the fact that Harrison Ford played the lead role (the only reason why I'm interested in said actor was because he played Han Solo in Star Wars) wasn't enough for me to stay put and watch it. I knew it was something that my dad would like; my preference would've been adventure, fantasy, maybe a little horror and your occasional talking animal, and there was clearly none of these in the movie. So when Ms. Kath told us we were going to watch it, I prepared my face for the ever-anticipated "duhhhhh" expression.

But the movie was actually really cool. And even though it didn't have its fair share of talking animals, at least it had a dog in it. It also had any number of techy stuff in it, like all the hacking and the codes in the bank, and all the cool just-press-your-thumb-against-the-sensor-and-hey-presto!-the-doors-open things, from the pen-in-the-camera to the Pet Nav (XD but it actually doesn't exist, there's nothing on Google). Hey, can those work on chickens?

Soon after, I searched for their goofs on IMDb, which is something I usually find myself doing when there's nothing else to do. Cool, they used six water trucks for the rain effects, and I soon found out the glitches in the movie: that the daughter dialed a possible 299, 599, or 899 instead of 911 because the tones were wrong, and that an iPod mini cannot store 10,000 songs.

Although, my happy "duhhh" face wasn't wasted for nothing... there were times I just found myself staring at the screen, just nodding my head because I understood nothing of what they were doing, especially when they were typing all those matrix looking thingies into the computer. At one point in the movie the whole scene sprouted techy terms with a vengeance. It was that time when the main character finally found a way to hack into the system, talking from bad-guy to bad-guy-sidekick after he ripped off a piece of a fax machine and borrowed his daughter's iPod. They gabbled in words I couldn't understand and I looked from face to face like a paranoid chicken. I wish I could've found the exact lines. But then I'd be nosebleeding again all over the place.

If words were gold, I'd treat Hongkong Disneyland as my personal backyard and then some.